Word of the day:Glean / Jokes

Word of the day

Glean: respigar, catar, respigar, juntar aos poucos, coletar

Synonyms: to gather or collect (something) in a gradual way, to search (something) carefully

She gleaned her data from various studies.

He has a collection of antique tools gleaned from flea markets and garage sales.

They spent days gleaning the files for information.

                                                                          www.merriam-webster.com

Obs.:

Gleam: vislumbre, raio, aparência vaga, centelha

Clean: limpo,  limpeza, limpar, assear

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Jokes

One friend complained to another, "All my husband and I do anymore is fight. I’ve been so upset, I’ve lost 20 pounds."

"If it’s that bad, why don’t you just leave him?" asked the second friend.

"I’d like to lose another 15 pounds first."

If you're so cool, why do you need so many fans?

A mathematician wanders back home at 3 AM and proceeds to get an earful from his wife. You're late, she says, you said you'd be home at 11:45!

Actually, the mathematician cooly replies, I'd said I'd be home by a quarter of 12.

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Essa vida da gente

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Jokes

The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying ‘Mrs. Cohen, your check came back.’

 Mrs. Cohen answered ‘So did my arthritis!’

www.jokes.webpany.com

Jokes

Embarrassing Situations!
A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the other end. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?" To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" By now, the entire bar is staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations." To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200!"

Fonte: (www.ajokeaday.com)

Jokes (Parking)

Before going to Europe on business, a man drives his Rolls-Royce to a downtown New York City bank and asks for an immediate loan of $5,000. The loan officer, taken aback, requests collateral. "Well then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce," the man says. The loan officer promptly has the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safe keeping and gives the man the $5,000. Two weeks later, the man walks through the bank's doors and asks to settle up his loan and get his car back. "That will be $5,000 in principal, and $15.40 in interest," the loan officer says. The man writes out a check and starts to walk away. "Wait, sir," the loan officer says. "You are a millionaire. Why in the world would you need to borrow $5,000?" The man smiles, "Where else could I find a safer place to park my Rolls-Royce in Manhattan for two weeks and pay only $15.40?"

Fonte: (www.ajokeaday.com)

time...fly

Question: Why did the man throw his watch out of the window? 

Answer: He wanted to see time fly. 
Submitted by Chris from Australia

Fonte: http://iteslj.org/c/jokes-riddles.html

Infames... (jokes)

Question: What is the difference between a jeweler and a jailor? 
Answer: A jeweler sells watches. A jailer watches cells. 
Fonte:  http://iteslj.org/c/jokes-riddles.html

Reader's Digest jokes

Breaking Up

Sarah Blodgett

You know you're dating the wrong guy when your friend steals your boyfriend and all you can think is, What does she see in him?

Fonte: Reader's Digest